Day 35 - The Moonies

The first weekend my former husband Don and I spent in Berkeley included a memorable invitation. Earlier in the week, while I was at a job interview, Don went to the University of California's campus and met a young man who said he lived in a house with several others. We hadn't made a commitment on an apartment of our own yet, so Don was curious. The young man, Mark, invited us to come to his house the following Sunday to meet those he lived with and find out more about the house. Don interpreted Mark's description of the house - or perhaps Mark encouraged him to understand it - as a commune, something that was at least imtellectually appealing.

Sather Gate, UC Berkeley, Image by John-Morgan, via
Flickr

On the Sunday, we went to the UC Berkeley campus to meet Mark. He was right where he said he would be, at Sather Gate. Since we had our own car, he gave us the address and told us he would join is there. We should just ring the bell and someone would let us in.

The house was in a very nice part of town. It was three stories, huge. The door was answered by a woman wearing a skirt and blouse, very unlike the clothing we had seen on the UCB campus. She asked us to remove our shoes and go on ahead into the living room. There were a few others already in the room, most of them lived in the house. One woman said she lived in a similar house in San Francisco. She had come over for the afternoon.

Don asked one of the people in the room if they minded if he smoked. This was back in 1970 when asking such a question was pro forma, to be polite, not really a request for permission. The woman he asked said they didn't allow smoking in the house. I could tell that Don was taken aback, but he didn't light up.

Tea, coffee, water and cookies were served. Maybe soft drinks, too. My memory isn't that detailed. What I recalled was what wasn't served: no beer, no wine, no liquor. It isn't that I was looking for such beverages; it is that Don had described the house as a commune, and there was some cognitive disconnect between that image and what we saw.

Unification Church mass marriage ceremony Image
by jedimentat, via Flickr

By this time, Mark had joined us and had introduced us to a few more of his house mates. As we finished our beverages, he invited us to move into another room where he would explain more about the house. In that other room, there were chairs lined up in rows in front of a blackboard.

Mark began talking about someone I had never heard of, the Rev. Sun Moon. I wasn't sure I should take him seriously. That name didn't sound real. But Mark looked like he was serious, he was writing everything on the board, and he kept talking for about an hour. If we could have figured out a way to slip out without being seen, we would have. But we were surrounded by Mark's house mates.

At the end of the hour, Mark invited us to come back the following Sunday for part 2 and the following Sunday for part 3. We found our shoes at the front door and left. We did not return for parts 2 and 3.

Berkeley church image by sarahkim,
via Flickr

That wasn't the last time I saw Mark. Shortly after Don and I attended part 1, I started working at a church in Berkeley. About a year or so later, Mark walked into the office of the church. He was promoting a printing company in the area that the Rev. Sun Moon's church had bought. He was visiting all the businesses along University Avenue to introduce us to the printing company, encouraging us to consider the company the next time we needed something printed. I don't think I even kept his card.

A couple of years later, I learned that followers of the Rev. Moon had implemented new techniques after our experience, techniques to ensure those they invited stuck around for the whole program. They still looked for people like Don and me - newcomers who don't know many people and who haven't established themselves. But instead of just asking them to remove their shoes, they started hiding the shoes so that the guests couldn't find them if they tried to leave early. They also stopped breaking the presentation into three parts, separated by a week; they presented all three parts in one session. And they stopped letting their guests use their own transportation. Instead, they arranged for buses to take the guests and the presenters and their supporters to an isolated location.

Given how annoyed Don and I were at the deception that led to our attending the part 1 session, I am not sure how much more successful the new techniques are.