Warming Up - Exercise 15

Better Than The Alternative

            I really don’t understand why, now that I am over 60, every man of any age who opens doors for me, serves me in restaurants or stores or just drives my bus calls me “young lady.” Who do they think they are kidding? I’m not young. And while I am also not yet old, I clearly qualify as older. In other words, I am a person who has stopped growing at both ends and now spends all my time struggling to keep from growing in the middle. Getting old SUCKS. But it is better than the alternative.

            Getting old affects everything – Body, Mind, and Spirit. I’ve been observing this in my father recently. And I know it is time to watch out for myself.

            Let's look at Body first. Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. Then there are the senses. With age, one's peripheral vision is reduced.  Lenses in the eye become clouded, requiring stronger light for me to be able to see. The result, I don’t recognize people I pass in the hallway.

            And then there is Hearing. I’d really like someone to answer the question, “How many times is it appropriate to say ‘What?’ before I can just nod and smile because I still didn't hear or understand a word they said?”

            Mobility is also affected. The other day my husband got stuck on the ground in our driveway when he sat down to fix a plastic part within the wheel well of our car – and then he couldn’t get up.

            Each year seems to rob me of my strength. The other day I realized I don’t have the strength needed to keep my arms raised to look at dresses on the rack during Ross’ Dress Week Event.

            Whether the body weakens more quickly than the mind is a question I still wrestle with. For example, the first area of the brain affected by memory loss handles names. And wouldn’t you know it – when I need to look up someone in a directory, I can only remember the first name. But when I meet someone in the corridor, I can only remember the last name.

            Did you hear about the 83-year-old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?

            I spend a lot of time working on cross word puzzles, jig saw puzzles, and computer games, trying to keep the neural pathways in use to retard the rate of mental deterioration. And I joined Luminosity recently to improve my brain functioning the scientific way. Thank goodness they send me a daily reminder to complete the exercises.

           The Spirit is also affected, bringing forward different personal traits as dominant. Stubbornness is common. For example, my friend’s father is 94 and he still insists on driving to and from the hospital for “procedures.” According to hospital regulations, patients are required to be escorted out in a wheelchair when being discharged. A student nurse was having some trouble with an elderly gentleman who insisted that he did not need a wheelchair. After some discussion about rules being rules, he reluctantly agreed. As she was wheeling him out, the student nurse asked the man if his wife was going to pick him up. "I don't know," he replied. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

            I have my own serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity 
to do the things I can do; courage to ask for help with things I can’t; and wisdom to know the difference.

            In closing, I am reminded of a group of residents at my Dad’s former independent living apartment who were sitting around talking about their ailments. One woman complained that her arms are so weak she can barely hold a cup of coffee. Another followed up that her cataracts are so bad she can't even see her coffee.  A gentleman added that he can't turn his head because of the arthritis in his neck, to which several nodded in agreement.  Another man reported that his blood pressure pills make him dizzy. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," he winced as he shook his head. There was a short moment of silence. Then the optimist among them spoke up. "Well, it's not that bad," she said. "Thank God, we can all still drive"!